This Turbulent Riot

"But his heart was in a constant, turbulant riot."- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Leave a comment

Sitting Under My Desk

Over the last few months I’ve worked really hard to change the way I think. And I have to be honest with you, it’s worked. I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier. Ever been more sure of myself. What I want. Who I am.

This is what I look like most days, except my head isn't that big. And I'm not usually on the beach.

When I took my hiatus (the most recent one), it was because I was putting all of my creative “bursts” into something else. Something slightly more private that I was sharing with only one person. I wrote about a vast majority of topics and through all of this I changed. Drastically. I began thinking about things. Concepts. Abstractions that I had always wanted to have meaning. And the truth is I was able to give them meaning.

This is what my thought process looks like sometimes. Good luck figuring me out.

Which leads me to my real point of this post: Two days ago, I found myself oddly wanting to sit under my desk.

Now, one of these abstractions (so to speak) was my own curiosity. I’ve accepted that I am a curious person and it has taken me to some interesting places lately.

I'm like a kitten, but bigger.

Point: Yesterday morning I sat under my desk.

This is kinda what it was like, except I wasn't terrified.

And while I literally sat under my desk, I want us to think about this as a metaphor. That’s right. That was a metaphor. If you don’t know what a metaphor is, just quit reading.

I’ve been sitting in a lot of places that I didn’t used to. Like at the foot of my bed instead of leaning on my headboard. Like on the floor instead of the couch. Like under my desk. Like the opposite end of the couch.

You might be asking, “how is any of this a metaphor? And what could it possibly mean if it were a metaphor?”

You ask a lot of questions.

Otter says to take a chill pill- I'm getting to my point.

I don’t have a straight answer for you. Maybe there is no such thing. But, maybe you should try sitting somewhere new. Sitting somewhere unexpected. You might just find a new perspective (if you are looking for clues to  answer your questions, this is the best one).

You might just discover that forest I talked about. Or you might finally be able to connect those sparking wires. Or maybe you might just find a new favorite spot to sit.

I guess really what I’m saying is explore your curiosities. Maybe that’s the metaphorical riddle’s answer. Maybe that’s just my perspective (oops I did it again).

The most flattering picture of Britney Spears. Ever. (I hope you get the reference to "oops I did it again."

Leave a comment

Metaphorical Music

The other day I was riding in the car with Boss.

No, not this boss.

We were talking, joking, singing along with the radio. When we pulled up to his house a familiar tune from all of our pasts came on. I’m not ashamed to say I started singing along…

“Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine”

I mean, really who hasn’t gotten swept up in the musical stylings of Miss Sheryl Crow? Don’t you remember that song about the summer time…

I was going to put up a picture of Sheryl Crow. Thought that was creepy. Then I was going to put up a picture of summer. Thought that was cliche. Then I was going to put a picture of a walrus. Thought that was overdone. Brain went on meltdown mode. This is the result. I'm not apologizing.

Here is where I’m going: she is wrong. Or rather those lyrics are wrong. I mean really can we say everyday is winding road?

I get it. I get that some days don’t go as planned. There are twists and turns. But, what about those days that don’t have those bends in the road? Those days that are just straight?

Apparently, this is a day?

Have you ever driven through Kansas. It’s that state between Missouri and Colorado. The state no one really cares about.

Just in case you weren't sure where Kansas was.

I have. It is horrible. Dry. Flat. Straight. Brown. And full of cows.

The color scheme of Kansas

You might be wondering how this song and Kansas are connected. Well, I’m getting there.

I think Miss Crow is only half right, or partially right. You see I think some days might be winding roads. Some days are unpredictable and we can’t see everything coming. But, I also think that some days are like driving through Kansas.

That was a metaphor. If you don’t know what a metaphor is, just quit reading now. I’m not explaining it.

I think that a lot of things in life come down to balance. We have to balance a lot of what we do. Days aren’t really that much different except we don’t get to control the balance. We just have to accept that the days will eventually balance out.

I think if we accept that there are winding road days, then we must accept that there are Kansas days.

Just to clarify, this is kinda what I mean by a Kansas day.

You might be asking yourself, “what are we supposed to do with these Kansas days?”

I’m not going to answer that question. Sometimes we have to find the answer to that question on our own. I could refer you to my post from two weeks ago. I think it deals well with what we should be doing.

But, maybe that isn’t enough. Maybe what is enough is just accepting that there is this balance. That when life is going crazy and you can’t see the end to current bend in the road, you have to hold on to that hope that the road will straighten out eventually. After all, we wouldn’t appreciate one without the other.

ANGRY TURTLE. (Secretly, I think he is just misunderstood.)

Leave a comment

Staring Out the Window

I finished my work early yesterday.

You may be asking yourself, “why would he share this little bit of knowledge with us?”

Well, I’m telling you because I was going to write a post. I sat for a few minutes at my desk thinking about what I was going to write. As I sat there, I thought of it. It was good too. But, then I got side tracked and realized I was done with work for the day, which meant I could go home and run.

I'm not a dog, but I do run this fast. No. Really.

Yes reader, my daily run has become more important to me than you.

Then last night I sat down at my computer to write this post, only I couldn’t remember my stroke of brilliance.

I couldn't resist using this again.

In case you haven’t noticed it yet, I often forget what my small small strokes of brilliance are- often leaving me questioning my own thought process.

Then today as I was staring out of my bedroom window (while I was running) I remembered my idea. Which is really ironic because my idea revolved around staring out the window (which I cam up with as I was staring out the window at work).

Those red dots represent the pain I usually experience after running.

When I was little I used to sit in our living room and stare out of this huge picture window at this old silver maple tree.

I like to remember it like this, although I'm sure it wasn't even close.

The tree was cut down a few years ago, I don’t stare out that window anymore, but I do still stare out of windows.


That, well, that was a metaphor as defined by me. If you know what a metaphor is and are wondering how I call these things metaphors, deal with it. I’m making up the rules and I say this is a metaphor. Boom. The end.

I don’t really like to hit these things on the head. Or shove my ideas and philosophies down your throat. But, I do understand that I need to explain myself a little bit.

I guess my point is that even though the scenery changes I still find myself doing the same things. Yes, I do have my head in the clouds sometimes. Yes, I can get lost staring out the window. Yes, if I allow my mind to wander it can go places I never thought it could.

But, my point is if I allow myself, I could waste days staring out the window.

And while enjoying that sometimes isn’t necessarily a bad thing, doing it too often is. I know that I’ve literally wasted (maybe not wasted) hours staring out the window. Sometimes it leads to something good. Sometimes it leads to nothing at all.

Last week I told you to go into the woods instead of just looking at them. I guess I’m trying to reiterate my point. I’m trying to tell you that life shouldn’t exist from inside the room. Life is outside of the window, so instead of staring out the window, maybe we should all get up and break the window. Just go see what’s on the other side, instead of staring at it. Maybe we should all put down whatever we are working on and take a few minutes.

Yeah. Do this. Whenever you can. However you can.

Again, I’m not telling you to stop and smell the roses. I’m telling you to pick the roses (let’s not turn that into something it isn’t). I’m telling you to travel. To write. To eat. To do something you have always wanted to do. I over think a lot. I think too much sometimes. I’m sure we all do.

My point is that maybe we should stop over thinking about living and just live. Life is outside of that window.

It’s up to you to figure out what that means.

Apparently, Adrian Brody is a toucan.